Sex Drugs and rock&roll

another busy weekend is done. i opened a shop yesterday so had to do a lot of designing arranging estimating and stuff.

i´m working on mambo typo3 and nuke at the moment but as fast as i learn other things come up to cope with. 

flash master desperately needed in dubai where i will be working in august but i´m no flashmaster 

my studies keep me from being productive. what a joke I went to university because i wanted to learn, wanted to challenge my CPU. 

I imagined a world where there would be no primitive assholes disturbing others in paradise. 

Today as I drove through a silent forest I felt like entering a world which should not be mine nor anyones. I could even feel the barrier higher creatures had set up to withhold the brutal human race from entering the last resorts. Ever so interested - sneaking into every corner and always questioning "Why" and "How"? I enjoyed and was grateful. 

My instant intention was to sit down: but "Why" and "How". 

Surprisingly I couldn´t sit down because there where no benches. I simply was unable to sit down being afraid of small small animals or even worse smaller animals. 

It´s wicked: a few hours later I realised that I went to graveyards when I was a child. Without all this morbid stupid depressing feelings I just enjoyed the silence and peacefulness. At the age of 15 when usual boys impress each other by stealing cars, being cool or brutal, hip modern happy smiling talking nonsense just to make sure they are important. 

I´m more of an observer - I´ve always been. silently attending and seeing more than most people do.

Now at the age of 28 I allow myself to accept that I am able to be happy on my own. Now I´m gonna smoke a cigarette - I quit nearly 2 weeks ago and it´s only been three until now!